If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize