I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
