Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Got a toothbrush?

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(301): View more from Maryland

so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.

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(229): View more from Georgia

whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says

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(678): View more from Georgia

This show inspires me to have sex in space

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(510): View more from California

Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.

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(210): View more from Texas

im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!

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(209): View more from California

Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.

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