DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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