no. you can't hotbox the world.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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