i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
