She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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