my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
