i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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