I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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