so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
