Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
