Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
