You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
