the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
