I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
