Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
