yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
