brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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