just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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