We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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