Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
