when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
