What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
