i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
