I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
