im drinking this country out of the recession.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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