i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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