Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
