You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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