Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
