You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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