From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
