Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
