Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
