I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize