Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
