i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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