i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize