K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
