I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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