My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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