my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
