Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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