don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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