the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
worst night to have a conscience
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
