omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
