we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's official drugs can't kill me
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
