If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
