i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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