My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
