I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
