And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
