I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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