One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
God I need to hump something, right now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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