i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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