I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
