SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize