And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
