So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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