brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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