Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
