I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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