She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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