piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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