I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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