i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
